His parents answered and said, we know that this is our son, and that he was born blind: but how he now seeth, we know not; or who opened his eyes, we know not: ask him; he is of age; he shall speak for himself.
St. John 9:20-21
How many times as parents, we linger with our parenting responsibilities for an extended time? When can a parent stop acting as parents? My mother-n-law (Granny) quotes, “children cling to your knees when they are young but when they get old they weigh on your heart.” Conversely, in Saint John chapter 9, you see a different parental attitude for the parents of the blind man that Jesus healed. When questioned by the religious authorities, they quickly suggested that their son was of age meaning that he is accountable so he can defend for himself.
Jewish tradition suggests that a child after the age of 13 becomes accountable for his or her actions. However, many states put the age of majority at 18 or 19 which allows a person to enter into a contract or even vote and run for a political position. Although when declaring independence for federal financial aid purposes, the applicant must reach the age of 24 unless he or she meets other exceptions like being married or having legal dependents. Yet, Scriptures incline another age of accountability that we often tend to overlook. When the Israelites entered the Promised Land after wondering in the desert, the ones who entered were 20 years or younger when they first left Egypt. The primary reasons for their wondering of 40 years involve unfaithfulness by adults making ill-decisions. So the 40 years of wondering was the consequences when these adults failed to display faith. “So tell them, As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very thing I heard you say: In this wilderness your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.” (Numbers 14:28-29) Thus, this passage recognizes age 20 for accountability.
These age disparities easily create a vague picture of pinpointing the exact age of accountable. As parents, we must analyze our perception about our children despite their poor choices and allow them to learn from mistakes to better their selection for future opportunities. In other words, allow growth to occur from poor choices instead of rescuing them from consequences. At the age of 12, I delivered a weekly advertisement flyers for the local grocery store in the neighborhood for an earnings of $1.00 every Wednesday. Until I decided to ditch the papers in a nearby gully because it was too cold to ride my bicycle on that day. When my father heard of multiple grocery sale papers flooding the gully, my rationale for this decision was pointless. I suffered severe consequences from my father which lead to an apology to the store owner. Afterward, the store owner rehired me, and I recommenced delivering those colorful sale papers. Now, I am earning only $0.50 per week. Recanting this story as an adult, my father decided to include some missing gaps. My father met with the store owner prior to our visit and explained that he wanted to teach me the value of work. So dad negotiated with the owner that he will pay the owner $1.00/week if the owner will allow me to deliver the flyers again. My father actions uncovered a valuable parenting lesson for us reflecting as accountable parents who increase opportunities for their children will make them responsible.
Defending children poor choices can easily prey upon self-consciousness of failing at parental duties. When children face consequences they become responsible for their actions. As parents, we must never overcompensate for failure with irrelevant justification and excuses to avoid consequences. Embrace choices that teach responsibilities; knowing, that responsibilities lead to better selection of choices in the future. When our youth become responsible, then each parent can easily say, “he is of age; he shall speak for himself” creating accountable adults who value their choices.
No comments:
Post a Comment